Sunday, July 27, 2008

Love Philosopher - Just For A Friend.



William Shakespeare once say that "love is blind" from "The Merchant of Venice" . When a person falls in love, everything he or she does is not logical and rational. This might be a fact because people are being blinded by their affection and their emotion towards their love ones. Subsequently, the results are either full of happiness or full of agony.

Well, for this post, obviously, from my intro, you might know that I am going to talk about love and relationship between a couple. Okey, to be frank, I am no professional myself, I am no lover, I am just a normal person who lives a normal that wants to express my thought.

This all started yesterday night, or today's early morning when a friend of mine, JM, was troubled in her relationship with her boyfriend. Therefore, she was so angry and devastated that she needed a pair of beautiful ears(not really, a pair beautiful eyes) to listen to her problems. Well, who is the best candidate for this task besides me. Well, the main reason is that I am having my holiday, I am the most free person in the planet. Hahaha, just crapping. Actually, I am always online and personally, MSN nowadays in my opinion, is the best communication tool. Therefore, I was just onlined when she needed a friend to listen.

After reading all the problems, I realized that a relationship is not an easy task to tackle. Reasons:
  1. First, a relationship, you need two persons who are compatible to each other.
  2. Second, comes the 3 main science subjects.Actually, I heard from my ex-teachers. Two persons need chemistry to be together; they need physical interaction, like holding hands and little kissing.that is all, no more(hehe); Finally, biology is extremely important, boys and girls are totally different mentally and physically. So, naturally, girls are more sensitive while guys are more careless. There are exceptions for this case though. But, this is the general view. Therefore, guys have to be careful in treating girls.
  3. It also needs what we call "tolerate". Some people might think that love requires sacrifice. Personally, tolerate is already enough, because sacrifice is for marriage when you need to give up your job for family and so on. Well, in a relationship, if one person tolerates more than the other, what will happen? Argument, frustration, unsatisfactory, ...
  4. Lastly, honesty is the most important of them all. While some people might think that some beautiful lies are necessary in a relationship, I have no objections. But, if a relationship is built purely on lies, it is just the matter of time when the love starts to fade.
Right now, continue to the story. She was angry because her boyfriend did not have anytime for her. He also always gives excuses like busy of homework, assignments, and studies. These were the reasons why she rarely see him. Actually, as a normal person, I could not help to feel unbelievable that a couple rarely date. Well, please forgive my narrow-mind, because I think that a couple should at least date once every fortnight. Because when you rarely see a person like your family, your pets, ..., there will be a little gap there. The gap is cracking as time goes by, so, I advised her to call him out and talk about their relationship. But, she said that she tried already, but, he kept on like avoiding her, giving her all sort of excuses. Personally, I am person who would not take "No" for an answer, so, I told her that she really needed to talk to him. So, hopefully, she could finally talk to him in person to resolve their problems. Talking face to face honestly might be the best way to solve the problem, but, she did not have the chance to meet him. I think that avoidance is never the best way to run a relationship, so, JM, you must tell him how you feel.


Actually, you might wander why not just break up with that guy, well, JM, still feels really happy just beside him. That is the brief yet extremely-contented happiness she experienced when she is with him. That is why she still don't want to let go. Wow, she is so couragous. If this situation happens to me, I will ... Oh well, again, different people have their own ways to handle things. In this matter, I would also like to hightlight that busy is not the best excuse to avoid spending time to your love one. Oh please, I had that busy time before my holiday. I didn't sleep for days to finish my assigments, but, at the end, I still hang out with my friends at Midvalley for so many hours. So, dear boyfriend, please spare at least 2 hours for your girlfriend, same to the girlfriends to the boyfriends in a week. That is really the minimum requirement.

JM also told me that her boyfriend put her family first, studies second, ... The most important part is that she is not the first in his list. Haizzz, apparently, he is a family guy, that is good. He has intergrity, but, you just can't start a relationship without giving any importantence to it.

Lastly, this story is published with the appoval of JM. She wanted me to share her story to all of you. Okey, this is what I think no matter guys or girls, both also responsible in this relationship. So, both also have to contribute. For this case, I really can't justify because I am not involved in their relationship , simply a passer-by. But, what I can say it that, when you start a relationship, make sure you really handle it well like business, or else, at the end, what will be waiting for you is "bankruptcy" or the end of your relationship.

OMG, during the holiday, I have become a lotus-eater, an operator, a blogger, an artist, a movie dweller, .....

Now, I am a Love Philosopher for the sake a friend. So, hopefully, when she reads the post, she will be fine. And May her relationship with her boyfriend goes well. We have to always hope for the best. (^-^). Optimism with a lot of reality check is good for relationship, meaning if abuse is involved, don't hesitate to kick that person out of your life.









7 comments:

JM said...

Thanks for posting this post...
Frankly, problem still remain in this relationship... I can do nothing... Not really cannot do anything. Is just Im tired of solving this problem already.. Just hope that rainbow will occur after rain... haha... Anyway, I have to say that u r really a good listener.. hehe...

Xjion89 said...

ooo, yup, I have to admit that I am a good listener a.k.a a good reader too. haha, but, I think you should relax though, give some time to both of u to think. Juz hope everything will be just fine. Okey, don't have to feel so down, just be frank to him and yourself. You can do it(^ ^)

JM said...

things seem to become worse now...
i hope he can c ur blog and understand wat he did wrong...
but i doubt he wont do so...

lcfu said...

for me, trustworthiness is very important, even long distance relationship could be as strong as those couple who see each other everyday... just it all depends on your friend and her bf, not to compromise but if you love a person you will do whatever, just as what shakespeare said - love is blind, there is not distance limit because it cant see =)

Xjion89 said...

[JM]
hmmm, actually, there is no right and wrong. You both just have to talk thoroughly. So, are you alright? I hope that you will be fine. Don't just give up yet, again, you have to tell him how you feel.

[icfu]
wow, you sound like a person in love deeply. Yup, without trust, I think no relationship will work.

JM said...

Thanks for concern...
always cant meet u in msn wan...
still got much to share with u...
hehe... anyway... i already start to let go it... n i know i can be tough again...

Xjion89 said...

hmmm, it is really not my fault lah, stupid MSN, oways can't sign in. But, u can make your own choice. So, be sure of ur decision. No regret! (^ ^)....gambateh!!!!!!!!!I will support u, my oldest friend(haha, know u for the longest)